Home Owners Association Involvement

3 06 2011

Last night, Chris and I stopped by the home of a board member of the Home Owners Association.  We needed to fill out a ballot for a vote taking place this month.  While we were there, some talk about me joining the board started.  Yikes!  I won’t lie, I’ve thought about it before but I worry that I don’t have enough time to give.  I have no idea how to be a board member.  I feel it’s a very adult thing to do.  The question is will they force me to actually grow up?  Surely not!

Pros:  I’ve been wanting/needing a way to feel involved in a community.  After John’s funeral there’s been a pull inside me to go back to Church.  I haven’t actually done that yet, but I feel part of that pull is due to the sense of community that I’ve been missing for so long.  Joining the board would not fill that spiritual hole but it would feel good to be a part of something.

Cons:  I’m worried that I don’t have enough time to give.  I work.  A lot at times.  Also, I’ve heard that many of my neighbors complain a lot to the board members.  I do not do well with criticism and cannot stand to think  I’m letting someone down.  Those two things coupled with my fear of failure makes me very pro-active and a hard worker.

As I’m writing this, I think I’ve decided to go to the next meeting we have scheduled.  I’ll get a feel for the group of people I’d be working with and a sense of what I’d be doing for the board.  After that, I can make a decision.  In the meantime I need to work on my bio.



24 05 2011

Chris and I watch a lot of crime based dramas – NCIS (old and new), CSI (only the original), The Glades, Criminal Minds (old and new), Rizzoli and Isles, Breakout Kings and Bones.  Every time the good guys are chasing the bad guys, I’m always yelling at the TV  “Shoot ’em in the ass!”  “Shoot ’em in the leg!”.  I fuss at Chris – “Why can’t they just shoot them somewhere so they’ll stop running?  It would be so much easier.  That’s what I would do.” I usually get some kind of “oh really?” response.

Well, I have found my soul mate.  Special Agent Olivia Dunham.  We started the first season of Fringe a few weeks ago.  Tonight, she shot a runner in the leg!  I screamed with excited!  “That’s what I’m freaking talking about!”  Finally, someone with some common sense.  I’m sure there’s some perfectly wonderful explanation why they can’t go shooting everyone in the leg or ass to stop them from running – protocol, too much paperwork, it wouldn’t be that exciting to watch, etc. but I am happy to have seen it at least once!

Thank you, Special Agent Olivia Dunham, thank you.

My Friend, John Hagan

13 05 2011

Today I said good-bye to a wonderful man and friend to all he met.  John Patrick Hagan.  John will always be remembered for his warm heart and easily giving friendship.  He was someone who you couldn’t help but fall in love with and do nothing but smile when he laughed.  He had a terrific laugh.

I love this picture of me and John from my wedding.  He was one of many to stand with us on our day.  John grabbed me with such force when we posed for this picture that he just about knocked me over.  John was so happy and I remember laughing with him as the camera clicked away. 

This week has been extremely hard for me, but through the sadness, this is the moment in time that I will remember my sweet friend, John.

Remembering Dave

20 04 2011

Today, April 20th, is my friend Dave’s Birthday.  He was a wonderful man and a terrific friend.  Dave made the choice to leave us January 2001.  I think of Dave quite often still, especially during the first part of each year with the anniversaries of both his beginning and end.

Dave was a friend of my ex-husband, Mike.  They met not too long before Mike and I met and Dave quickly became a very dear friend.  He was outrageously smart about a wide range of topics.  He tutored some high school kids and was a large help with my College Chemistry course.  I remember sitting on the couch with him going over my homework.  He was so patient and a big help.

After camp one summer, about 10 of us stayed together for a few more days.  Some were from out-of-town, but most were from out-of-country.  Dave took us on a tour of downtown Louisville where he told us the history of the buildings and architecture.  It was just another surprise of his knowledge that popped out.  I remember thinking he was so sweet to spend the time with us and that I was so lucky to be friends with him.

Dave loved to watch Star Trek and I hated to watch it.  It was like torture.  I think it was on like every night at 6 or something.  We only had one TV in the apartment so I had no choice but to sit and watch it if he was home.  Funny thing is, I’d gladly sit and watch an episode with him now.  I miss Dave a lot.

When Dave moved out from Mike’s apartment, he didn’t go far.  He found a place just two or three buildings down.  He still came over for dinner and to hang out.  We were a sweet little family.

I never really thought about how his choice changed me until now.  Something inside of me was knocked out-of-place.  I had no one outside our circle of friends to talk to – no one from outside the situation to help me work through the troubles I was feeling.  Honestly, I still haven’t talked with anyone.  The only reason I’m somewhat okay with writing this is because I don’t have to actually speak these words.

Dave attempted to hang himself in Mike’s apartment.  It was after he had moved out so the cry for help was heard loud and clear.  I remember him being better for a while after that but not for long.  He locked himself in his apartment with a shotgun.  I don’t remember where he got it – if he’d always had it or if he just went to buy it. 

I wanted to help but was paralyzed with fear and too young and ignorant to really know what to do.  I was in over my head.  He didn’t want to see me.  He knew I would try to help show him what he had to live for and he threatened to end his life right in front of me if I attempted to visit.  So I stayed away.  I hoped and prayed that Mike would be able to reach him.  Mike wasn’t going to push anything on Dave, I knew that, but I wanted something to click for Dave and he’d be able to see that choosing life over death would be okay. 

Life was mostly a blur for a long while.  Everyone was just waiting for him to make his move.  I would ask Mike how Dave was doing but I was scared to death to hear the answer.  I don’t remember us ever asking each other how we were doing.  It was a sad time. 

I remember getting the call.  Mike was very upset and not very sensitive when delivering the message and was banned from that point on from ever giving me bad news again.  Our friend Kraus was given that responsibility. 

No matter how angry I was with Dave, no matter how much his choice has hurt me, I still love him.  I hold him close to my heart.

I miss Dave’s laugh.

I miss Dave’s hugs.

I miss Dave’s friendship.

I simply miss Dave.

Happy Birthday, Friend.

Top 5 Dream Jobs

7 04 2011

As I was watching Survivor this week, I had a quick thought.  It would be so cool to be on the team of people who come up with the challenges for each week.  That lead me to think of other brilliant jobs I would love to have.  So in no real order, here is a list of my Top Five.

Working for Chelsea Handler


 Survivor Challenge Developer


Program Staff at a Year Round Camp


Stay At Home Mom


Writing for a Magazine

MORE Zombies!? Really?

6 04 2011

I think something is trying to tell me something!

I was on my way home late one night last week, listening to one of my favorite XM Radio stations and Michael Jackson’s THRILLER came on.  I was rockin’ out!  Such a great song and it really takes you back to when he was truly cool.

I was almost home and turned at the light that leads me to my street for our Neighborhood.  At the exact moment that Vincent Price began his creepy part at the end…I hit a huge patch of FOG! 

It so totally creeped me out.  Last week was certainly my ZOMBIE week. 

I’ll Take My Tiara Now

6 04 2011

I’m not a Miss America viewer but I certainly know the joke about everyone asking for “World Peace” if given one wish or something like that.

I received some news last year that made me think on this notion of having one wish.  It made me reflect on some pretty trying times in my life.  Even though those moments may have shaped me into the person I am today, I do not wish my nieces, my friend’s children or my future children to have those same experiences.  So, let me put on my high heels and slap on the vaseline for my answer…

If I was given one wish, I’d wish for everyone to live a life without knowing someone who committed suicide, a life not touched by cancer and to not have someone near to your heart with HIV or AIDS.

What would your response be?